Sophie Alpert

Hi, I’m trans.

August 26, 2017

I’ve known for a long time that given the choice, I’d want to be a woman. If I had a magic button that would “make me a woman”, I’d press it without hesitating.

“Don’t lots of people wish they were another gender?” I thought. (Apparently they don’t.) Turns out if you wish you were another gender, you probably are. I wish someone had told me earlier.

Like most trans people, I mostly just want to live my life. Many people don’t get to. Society is shitty to trans people. Surveys say about 50% of trans people have attempted suicide.


Compare that to 5% of the overall population. So I can’t imagine most people would decide to be trans given the choice. But it’s who I am and I like that.

I don’t know how to explain gender dysphoria to you. I don’t think I could write an analogy that would properly capture it. All I know is that my life of pretending to be a guy every day doesn’t feel right. And that getting to actually live as a woman sounds like a big improvement for me – even despite our society’s misogyny.

Watching other people’s transitions – something I wish I saw when I was young – made me confident that this is the right path for being a more authentic version of me. That’s why trans visibility is important.

When I looked in the mirror at the right angle and glimpsed a woman’s face in the reflection, I ran to tell my best friends. When I put on my best attempt at a nice outfit and a waiter at an Indian restaurant in London said “ma’am” to the woman they saw, I almost jumped for joy. (I settled for taking a few selfies in celebration.)

I’ll get to be my real self every day now! This is special and wonderful and joyous. So I’m very excited to re-introduce myself: Hi, I’m Sophie, a woman with she/her pronouns.

Here’s a few things you can do to help me.

  • Use my right name and pronouns, whether you’re talking to me, talking to someone else, or thinking to yourself. If you mess it up a couple times, it’s OK if you just correct yourself and move on.
  • Even if it doesn’t make sense to you yet, try to believe my story; believe me when I say that I’m a woman. You might not see a woman yet when you look at me – sometimes I don’t. But this really is me. I’m not trying to trick you.
  • If you have questions and want to understand better, please ask. All I need is for you to come with empathy and an open mind.